Massage
by USNeshama
Summary: Dani decides to unwind by going to get a massage and vent her frustrations. She needs a sounding board. She made the wrong choice, and now the man she loves has disappeared into the wind. Little does she know he is closer than she thinks...
1. Chapter 1

Italics are thoughts, while quotes are what is spoken aloud.

Dani took off the robe and lay down on the table. _Wow a massage is going to feel so good._ She pulled the towel over her to cover just her rear end.

She could hear the door open and close but continued to rest with her head on her arms, eyes closed on the table.

"Ms. Santino?" a man spoke.

"Yes, that's me, but I prefer Dani." _Come on I guess want a day without titles._

"Already, Dani it is. I am going to send the masseur in in a minute I just wanted to check on the technicalities. You have circled "all" for the areas of this massage. Just to let you know that is all areas non-sexual, are you okay with that?" the man checked.

"Yes, that's fine" Dani replied. _All areas non-sexual, like I want anyone touching me there, no thanks!_

"Okay great, now you have selected our one hour, hands on. Are you ready to begin?" the man asked.

"Yes" Dani sighed. _Any day now._

"Just one last thing, anything you tell our therapists is strictly confidential. We let our clients know as many of them feel the need or want to vent during sessions. This often helps relieve all the stress from their bodies, both physically and emotionally." The man continued.

"I know, that's why I chose this place, because of the confidence clause." Dani replied.

"Alright great, I will send in the therapist, enjoy!" he chirped. _If only he hadn't used the word therapist, it was her day off for God's sake. _

The door open and closed as Dani waited in silence for the massage therapist to come in.


	2. Chapter 2

Nico walked into the lobby of the massage office swiftly. He immediately asked for the manager. _Hurry up, hurry up, I don't have all day._ His demeanor seemed to move things along.

"Can I help you Sir?" asked a man coming to meet him from a back office.

"Yes, I need to see Dr. Santino." Nico replied calm as ever.

"I'm sorry that is impossible she is in a session" he replied leaning over a computer after hitting a few keys.

"Well who is her therapist then?" Nico replied, annoyed._ Although her with a therapist would be amusing._

"It appears she has an appointment scheduled with Anthony." The manger replied again after searching the computer.

"It will just take a minute, if you please." Nico authoritatively responded. _Yes, a minute to convince him to take the next hour off. _

"We don't usually allow…" the man started but was cut off.

"I assure you I will not cause a problem." Nico held up a hand. _At least not with you._

"Very well, this way" the man led the way down a narrow hall and turned a corridor leading to a bunch of small offices lining each side of the hall. "His office is the 2nd from the last on the left" the man said pointing.

"Thank you, I assure you I will keep this short." Nico thanked the man walking quickly down the hallway.

He knocked on the door. A man turned around. "Are you Anthony?" Nico asked closing the door behind him. "Yes, but I have a client waiting. If you don't mind…" he replied gathering his stuff then trying to sidestep Nico.

"Actually I do. Your client is Dr. Santino today correct?" Nico waited for a conformation.

"How did you…" the man looked confused.

"I spoke to your manger." Nico replied confidently.

"I would like to know if you would take the next hour off. I would like to take your session instead. This is of the upmost importance. I can assure you I know her and that this will not cause a problem for you if you just take the next hour for, lets say, a nap in your office." Nico dared the man.

"I don't know…" the man said suspiciously. This was going to be easy.

"She will be in good hands, and you'll get some much deserved rest." Nico coaxed.

"Very well. She is in Room 15A. You will need to change though." Anthony replied looking Nico up and down in his suit.

"Okay, where?" Nico answered.

"Locker room, next door on the right. There are extra uniforms there. Just get yourself one and throw it in the laundry in there when finished. I'm gonna lock the door and take a nap. I don't know anything." Anthony said, pulling a pillow out of a desk drawer and heading for comfy chair in the corner.

"Very well, thank you." Nico responded slipping out the office door and heading to the locker room. _That was almost too easy. I hope what happens next goes just as smoothly. _


	3. Chapter 3

Nico quickly closed the door behind him and walked down to the door Anthony had said would be the locker room. He opened it and walked in; there was no one else inside.

_Alright, uniforms, uniforms, uniforms._ Nico saw several cabinets at the far end past the lockers and opened the left most one. Inside he found sets of short white shorts, and snug fitting t-shirts that would cling to muscles hidden underneath. _You've got to be kidding me._ _Well it is for Dani._

Just then the door opened and Nico spun around. _Crap._ It was Anthony. "Just wanted to let you know that Dr. Santino is scheduled for a one hour, hands-on massage." Anthony let Nico know, as Nico began to get undressed. _Is this going where I think it's going?_

"And what does that mean exactly?" Nico replied dangerously close to his threatening voice.

"Just that you can relax any part of her body that is a non-sexual area unless she asks you for somewhere else and you feel comfortable doing so. Additionally, all of the staff here has confidentiality clauses. She specifically picked this office for that reason. She is most likely here to vent. Most women come here because they don't have a safe source to turn to to let their feelings out. Are you going to be okay with that? And more importantly is she?" Anthony asked slightly nervous.

"Of course. I know her very well." Nico replied confidently. _All areas of her body? Is he kidding me? What have I gotten myself into? More importantly what would she say if she knew it was me? She was here to vent? Well with Jeanette gone, and me MIA I can see why, but she could have called me. I know it's been three months but still…what was she going to talk about? This is surely an invasion of privacy. She is going to kill me…_

Just then Anthony interrupted his thoughts. Nico realized he had only gotten his jacket and shoes off. He didn't need to man in front of him seeing his scars. "Are you good? She is waiting and I'm about to make myself scarce."

"Yes, I'll be fine. Thank you." Nico dismissed the man.

Anthony nodded, turned on his heels, and strode out the door leaving Nico alone to change. He grimaced when he took his shirt off and saw himself in the mirror. _Those scars really do look bad. Well, I am a broken man. That is why no one should be allowed to get close. I don't deserve anyone to love me and there is only one woman that I do…_

Nico got the snug fitting clothes on and found himself a pair of sneakers too that were in the next cabinet over that seemed to complete the outfit. He stowed his clothes in a locker and strode out of the locker room.

He reached the door labeled 15A and paused to take a deep breath before walking into the room. _Well here goes nothing._


	4. Chapter 4

Dani waited for her massage therapist to come in. _God, do I hate that word, therapist. I know it's my job but still does it have to be used for this too._

She heard the door open and close and one step of footsteps approaching, then pause.

Nico walked in and saw Dani lying face down on the table. _God she was so beautiful._ She was only covered by a small white towel over her rear end so he got a pretty good look.

He hesitated before completely approaching the table. _What am I supposed to do? Just get right in there?_ Nico noticed the oil that was laid out on a table next to Dani and reached for it. He hesitated again.

"Are you going to start or what?" Dani asked, muffled by her arms. _What was wrong with this guy? Please don't let him be a perve. Don't look. Don't look. You don't want to know what he looks like. Only what his hands feel like._

Nico didn't answer. _Best not to let her hear my voice for as long as possible because then she'll know it's me_. He just picked up the bottle of oil and squeezed some on her back in response.

Dani felt the oil being dripped onto her back. _Okay, here we go…_

Nico took one more deep breath then laid his hands on Dani's back to spread out the oil. He instantly felt a spark. _Uh oh, I like Dani but I hadn't expected to feel attracted to her at this moment. Her skin is so smooth. Oh, God if she knew it was me right now she'd kill me._

Dani felt the first contact, she also felt a spark. _I hadn't expected to feel any attraction to whomever was giving me the massage. Interesting. Don't look, don't look. If you look the spell will be broken. It's just those hands are so strong, and comforting. Almost familiar..._

Nico spread out the oil and then began the massage. He decided to start with her shoulders. _Something I know how to do. _

"Uh" Dani let out a gasp at the amount of pressure applied. _Oh my God! It's just the right amount, firm but gentle. If this guy only knew what he was doing to me. _

Nico wasn't prepared for Dani to make noises._ I should have expected it, but still. If she only knew what she was doing to me right now._


	5. Chapter 5

Dani just enjoyed the feel of the massage for a few minutes. _God, his hands are amazing_.

Nico was working tirelessly. He could feel the knots in Dani's shoulders and back._ Damn, she has been holding onto a lot of stress. _He worked carefully but steadily. _I'm pretty good at this. Massaging her is actually relaxing me. _He could feel the stress leaving him as it left Dani. _We must be more connected than I thought. If she only knew. _

Dani decided it was time to talk._ I picked this place so I could vent my frustrations. Now is the time I guess. _

"So you already know I picked this place to vent. I guess I better begin. They say that verbalizing your problems will decrease the physical stress placed upon your body." Dani said.

Nico smiled._ Typical Dani, explaining her actions._

He continued to work on her shoulders, neck and back, as she talked.

"Okay, so here's the problem. My best friend Jeanette left for Spain about 5 months ago. She was like my sister. We talked about everything. She is the one person I have always been able to count on. She found a steady boyfriend, they fell in love, she got pregnant and moved away. It was time for her to go but I still feel left behind. I love her and want her to do what's best for her but it still saddens me that she is gone." Dani paused.

_Wow, I knew they were close but I didn't realize she was the only other person she talked to._

"Then I thought I had found the right guy. He was sweet, but we started off on the wrong foot. I had a one-night stand that ended it what I thought was a good relationship, but what it was really based off of was feelings of attraction not anything of worth. We had something good going for a while, but then we took a break after I told him I didn't want any more children. Don't get me wrong I love me kids but I don't really want to start over. He thought I'd change my mind. He then went and had a relationship with someone else that left her pregnant, a fact he conveniently forgot to mention to me when I thought I had sorted through my feelings and kissed him at the end of last season. I had a choice between two men and I chose wrong; I made a mistake. It was in that moment that I realized he was wrong for me. The sparks weren't there. He then proceeded to tell me in the days that followed about his other relationship and what the results are. I haven't spoken to him since. I thought we were friends but apparently not. He hasn't made the effort to speak to me either." Dani sighed.

_I didn't know all of that about Donnelly. She must have been devastated. She realized her mistake? What does that mean?_

Nico moved down to work on Dani's thigh and leg muscles. "Now, I have called the man that I should have chosen in the first place over 100 times in the last 3 months and he has never returned my phone calls." She sniffled. _Am I really on the verge of tears over this?_

_Oh, my God. I have over 100 missed calls. Is this going where I think it's going_. Nico paused massaging for a second.

Dani felt the pause and thought it was in response to her almost crying. "No really, I'm okay. Please continue." She sniffled out.

Nico hadn't realized he had stopped and quickly recommenced. _Please don't turn around. Please don't turn around. I need her to finish._

Dani felt the therapist, _God I hate that word_, start again and tried to get herself under control.

"I have felt for over 5 months that I had a choice between the man that I loved and couldn't have and the man that I am dangerously attracted to. The first is the man I kissed at the end of last season. I realized I have known for a while that he wasn't right for me but kept trying to make him fit into my life anyway. We are in different stages of life and he is too young for me. Even though we took a break and he didn't technically cheat on me I couldn't help but compare him to my ex-husband. I will never be able to look at him the same way again. I will always love him, just as I loved Ray, but that time in my life has passed." Dani paused again.

_Wow, she really has moved on._

"I went to therapy and was helped to work through my problems. The problem is that by the time I realized I had chosen wrong, in that one kiss, the man I truly loved and should be with for the rest of my life disappeared. I know he saw me kiss Matt. I know he thinks I chose Matt but the truth is, that was the moment I chose him. That kiss does not even compare, isn't even in the same universe, as the one and only one I have shared with him on my back porch. In that moment I realized my mistake." Dani began to cry.

Nico couldn't believe it. He moved back up to massage her shoulders and even worked on her temples. _Oh my God, I just assumed that she had picked Matt and all those calls were to apologize for her choice. I never imagined. I never thought it was for that. I caused this. _He looked down at Dani's crying form._ How do I fix this? _

"So in the last half a year" Dani choked out between tears "I have lost my best friend to another continent. My son has left to be with a girl that could destroy him. My daughter and I have gotten into daily fights over nothing. My ex-husband has moved on so that his last affair and him are having a child. My ex-boyfriend is engaged to be married with a child of his own. And the man I love is MIA. I wish he only knew how much he means to me. I came somewhere would I could speak privately so as not to destroy his trust. I haven't even said his name allowed since he left." Dani just silently sobbed as Nico massaged her head.

He knew she needed this. _And she went somewhere where there is a confidentiality clause and not once mentioned my name. Even upset she still respects my privacy. This woman…_

Dani sobbed and sobbed. _I need to get myself under control this man probably thinks I'm some worthless woman. I am sobbing over a man. _

"It's just that I love him and don't think he'll ever understand that. I know he has scars in his past but I love him all the more for them. I just want him to be a part of my life." _I really just said that out loud._

_She really just said that. She loves me? She knows I'm broken but wants me in her life anyway? She might have but after she finds out about this I think that's going to change. _

Just then a woman opened the door. "Ms. Santino's one hour is up" the woman informed Nico. He just nodded in response.

The woman left them alone. Dani held her hands out in front of her head and stretched._ Wow, I feel so much better. That was amazing, both the massage and the venting._

Nico was too stunned to move after that last revelation of Dani's. _She loved him?_

Dani went to sit up but realized that therapist, although no longer touching her as his hands had been removed his hands from her body, was still in the room. She reached for the sheet covering the table so she could sit up.

"I'm sorry, here I've been ranting for the past hour and I didn't even ask your name." Dani stated with a smile in her voice as she fastened the sheet around her, still lying face down. _Please let it be something cool. Please don't disappoint me. I loved the feel of his hands on my body. There is only one other person who makes me feel like that with just his hands and I haven't seen him in three months. _

Nico froze. _Should I just tell her the truth? It's time I guess. Then I guess disappear before she decides to kill me. _

"You already know it." And with that Nico began to stride across the room as he saw Dani freeze. He was out the door before she could gather her thoughts.

_Oh my God. No, seriously. It could not have been him all this time. The strong hands that felt so good, and so comforting. They had seemed familiar, but still. He had just massaged her entire body for the past hour. And more importantly he had just listened to her pour her heart out for the last hour! She was certainly happy to see that he hadn't fallen off the face of the planet but she was so going to kill him! _

Nico raced for the locker room. He dashed inside and sat down on the bench with his head in his hands. _What have I just done? The woman I love just poured her heart out to me thinking I was a total stranger. I'm not afraid of her, but she is going to be so angry with me that she may never talk to me again. _

Dani jumped off the table with just the sheet around her and raced down the hall. _He could avoid me for three months just to show back up when I decide I've had enough bottled up inside of me to explode!? He always did have impeccable timing. _

Dani reached the doors that said locker room. She chose the men's room hoping for the best. She pushed the door open and saw a very dejected Nico sitting on the bench with his head in his hands. There was no one else in sight. She turned and locked the door.

_But he's okay._ It amazed Dani that her first thought was relief. She was still very angry with him but also very happy to see him. _There's no escaping this time._

Nico heard Dani enter. _I know who it is, but I am not going to speak first. I am not even going to look at her._ He heard the lock click into place.

_This was going to be an interesting conversation…_


	6. Chapter 6

Dani leaned back against the door. _He looks to helpless. Okay, so he crossed a line but he absolutely could have taken advantage of me and he didn't. I'm still going to make him pay. But he's okay, and he's here…actually here…and he is letting me see him vulnerable. _

_She's going to break first. She hates me know. She's going to tell me to get out of her life and never look back. I deserve that. I don't deserve her. She is strong-willed and has a good heart; I can't damage that. I will hurt her. She can't see the scars; she can't know of my past. It will destroy her. _

"Nico" Dani spoke. She kept her voice soft. She paused. _Come on…_

"Nico look at me." Dani whispered again. _Damn it Nico, just look at me._

"Nico!" she shouted and he jerked his head up. _I'm not shocked she yelled. I was waiting for it. Actually I'm surprised she didn't start by yelling._

Nico met Dani's eyes carefully. _I can imagine what my face looks like right now…_

Dani looked into Nico's eyes. _Oh my God, that look is so hollow, so tortured. I just want to hold him and push the pain away. I want to make him better. I want him to be mine. _

Dani moved across the room to stand in front of Nico. She reached for his face. He caught her hand. "Dr. Santino, please don't." Nico choked out.

She withdrew her hand immediately. "Don't use that title. Not after what I have just said. I may not have thought I was telling you, but you heard just the same. You know how I feel. Calling me that I now is a way of distancing yourself, but it kills me that you only think of me as a colleague. I thought we had moved on to at least the friend's stage, the one where we call each other by first names." _I am on the verge of losing it. He doesn't know how much he means to me. Maybe he never will. He doesn't understand._ She turned away.

"Danielle please leave." _Just a colleague who was she kidding? I want her to stay, but I need her to leave. She needs to walk out of my life. I only came back to check on her. She wasn't even supposed to know I was here. _

"No. I'm not leaving you. You are fragile right now and friends help friends rebuild." Dani sat down next to Nico. _He better not push me away. _

"I said leave Dr. Santino" he spit back at her. _Get out of my life before I hurt you. I can't have you. _

_That did it. He used the title. He came in here and listened to me pour my heart out. He knows how I feel and he pulls that crap! _Dani jumped up and crossed the room.

"Get out!" Nico screamed._ She's never heard me yell. I need to get through to her. I am dangerous. I will ruin her life. I will ruin her. I will hurt her. I won't mean to, I would never on purpose but it will happen. I already have just by leaving. This is for the best. Let her see me as a monster if it protects her._

Dani was squinting at him from across the room. She hadn't moved; she hadn't even flinched. She walked up and got in Nico's face. "How dare you?" _He wants this hard, well then it's gonna get dirty. _

"I said get out!" Nico yelled again. _I thought the first time would get through to her. Well I guess she needs to see more. _

"And I said no" Dani whispered. She met his eyes and he saw the fury there. _She's not going to give up without a fight. Well is she wants more, than that's what she's going to get. _

Nico grabbed Dani around the waist and smashed her into the lockers they were between. He pushed his entire body in line with hers. He put his arms up on either side of her head like a predator. "I don't want you. I don't need you to fix me." _It is not lost on me that she is only wearing a sheet and I have her trapped. If only that was where this could head…_

Dani felt Nico grab her and fling her back into the locker. _Okay, so that was meant to scare, not to harm. I think he forgot I don't scare easily and I don't give up._ She heard Nico speak. _Did he just say he doesn't want me? I'm not buying it. _

"I don't want to fix you. I want you to trust me and to love me." Dani gasped out. _Oh my God I can _feel _him…_

"I'm sorry I'm not Ray or Matt. I don't trust easily and I don't want you to love me. I don't love you." _That was the first lie I have ever told._

Dani listened to Nico. His words registered. She pulled her fist back and punched him with as much as she had._ That's for everything you're saying to me. And for digging into my personal life. And for being in my life in general. And for comparing yourself to, and for even bringing up Matt and Ray. That's for telling me a lie when you said you'd never lie to me. _

Nico saw the fist coming but didn't stop it._ I want her to do this. I want her to hate me and to leave me. She needs to see me as the enemy as someone who will destroy her. She needs to leave me. _

Dani's fist connected with Nico's right eye. _Honestly I didn't think I'd actually hit him. I thought he'd stop me. He must have let me do it. My heart aches for him._

_Okay, so that wasn't fun but if it gets her to walk out that door I'll take it gladly. _

"Now that you've had your say please leave Dr. Santino." Nico spoke quietly, controlled. They were about arm's length away.

"Again with the title! Why do you think you got hit Nico?" Dani challenged. _He was going to own up to it. What it was that was driving him. Whatever it was that let her hit him_.

"You were venting your frustration, whatever it may be. It doesn't matter what I think."_ It doesn't matter how I feel. All I really want to do is hold you in my arms and take away the pain I have caused but all that will really do is put you in further jeopardy._

"It does matter. At least to me." Dani spoke and stepped back into his personal space. She placed her hand on this cheek.

_This cannot be happening I cannot let her get close. She will take what is left of my heart. It has been torn to shreds. It cannot survive another round. I can't have her. We will destroy each other. _"It can't." He sat back down, effectively removing himself from her touch._ A touch that stirred his mangled heart. _

Dani sighed. _He was being so stubborn. Well I'm going to lay everything on the table then. Put all of my thoughts and feelings out there. For him this time. Not to vent, not to cry, but for him to see what he means to me._

Dani knelt down in front of him. He had his heads in his hands. They were about eye level if he would make contact, she on the floor, him on the bench. "Nico look at me." He met her eyes hesitantly. "It does."

Dani reached up and cupped his cheek; his eye was starting to bruise. _All right Santino, now's your chance._


	7. Chapter 7

Dani cupped Nico's cheek. He leaned into her touch. "I care about you. Much more than I was ever supposed to as a colleague and as a friend." Nico placed his hand over hers, pressing it against his cheek.

"Dani it doesn't matter." _She is the only thing that matters. I need to keep her safe. _

"Yes, it does. Nico, I _love _you. Can you grasp that?" Dani said forcefully. _I need to get through to him. I know he is questioning himself right now._

"Dani, I will only hurt you. I already have. I won't destroy you too." Nico dropped his hand and looked down._ I need her to understand. She is forbidden. She is the one I need but can't have._

"Nico, I've already been destroyed. The only thing that would hurt me now is if you were to lie to me again and tell me that you didn't love me." Dani waited for a response. _I'm calling him on the lying thing, that has to be a first. _

_She caught that did she?_ "You are a good person with a good heart. I have done things, unspeakable things, things I'm not proud of. I don't wish myself upon anyone. There is a reason I have been by myself all these years. I am dangerous, please grasp that." Nico glanced back up to look into Dani's eyes. Please, save yourself.

"Nico, I don't doubt that you are dangerous, but I know that you would never hurt me. You love me just like I love you, whether or not you admit it out loud is up to you but you can't pull that one past me."_ Come on, please admit it, please._

"I am broken. You don't want or deserve something broken, Dani." _I'm grasping at straws here…_

"Nico I am broken too, but that's why we understand each other. That's why we work well together, we understand what it's like to endure great hardships." _I'm getting there, just a little more…_

"I don't want to let you in. You know that." Nico half-smiled. _You can't come into this pool of despair with me; we'll both drown trying to save each other._

"I'm already in Nico. Let me all the way in. I want in. You can't tell me that I am not the closest anyone has come to knowing you, really knowing you, in years." _Please Nico, just open up to me._

"You have no idea. You're the only person I have ever allowed in. Ever. Not in past years, Dani, I'm talking about in my lifetime. And it scares me. Sometimes you know things by either me telling you or you figuring them out yourself. That is something no one else has ever been able to do. I can't be open Dani. It won't work. You can't handle my past." Nico looked at her serious then.

"Nico, you've seen what I've handled. Again, you heard everything I said back when you were in my massage room and I don't believe for one second that you forgot it. I'm not going to back down. I love you and can handle anything at all as you're with me, even your past. I know I can face it and am willing to. I just want you to be a part of my life. Stopping running Nico." She finished grabbing his hand. _Please Nico, I Love You!_

"I know you think you can it, but once you hear _one_ story you'll go running and I will be left with nothing. Dani, I have almost no heart left. I wouldn't survive that." Nico looked down but grasped her hand. _I need you. I want you, but if I let you in and then you leave it will be my death._

"Nico" Dani let go of his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, to grasp both sides of his face. "The only way I would ever leave you is if you were not loyal to me. Other than that there is nothing you could do that would drive me away. You already have what is left of my heart; please let me safeguard what is left of yours. Let me in, let me love you." Dani pleaded._ I love you…_

Nico looked at Dani. _They say the eyes are the windows to the soul but all I see is genuineness and pain. Pain I've caused. _ "I can't…" Nico started to break down.

"Why? Tell me the truth Nico, Do you love me?" Dani questioned. _Please just answer me this._

_How can I lie to that question? How can I phrase it? I can't do it. _"Yes." Nico started to do something he never thought he would. He started to let his walls come down.

"Then what's the problem Nico? Tell what you need and I'll do it." Dani said with her hands resting on his legs face eager.

"I believe you stole my line." Nico replied smiling slightly. _Now that was a deflection if there ever was one…_

"Nico…" Dani sighed "please?"_ Please just let me love you for the rest of my life._

"I just need you." He pulled her off the floor and into his lap. He stroked her face and cupped her cheek. "I just want you." And with that he dipped his head to hers.

He hesitated with his lips just over hers, giving her a way out. His soul rejoiced when she came the last couple inches to press her lips to his. She opened her mouth and let him deepen the kiss. After breathing became a necessity he pulled back and stroked her hair looking into her face.

"Please tell me you feel the same?" Nico asked of Dani.

She paused. "I can't" and watched as his face fell, she reached and turned his face until their eyes met once again "because you haven't told me if you love me yet." Dani smiled.

_And here I thought…_ "I Love You Danielle Santino. My Danielle."

"And Nico I love you too. With all my heart." Nico kissed her breathless once again.


	8. Chapter 8

Nico pulled Dani up to straddle his lap. _She is still in the sheet. There is a God._

They made out like teenagers for another few minutes, just when things were starting to escalate as groping began someone started pounding on the door.

"One minute" Nico called out. He stood up, reached into his locker and handed Dani his floor length coat. He then grabbed his clothes and headed for the door. He jerked it open and there was Anthony.

"Ah, just came to make sure the session turned out okay." Anthony looked from Dani to Nico.

"It was fine" Dani answered. "Now if I could just get my clothes back…" she trailed off.

"Of course. They're in my office. How dumb of me." Anthony gestured to it and led both Dani and Nico inside to change. He closed the door behind him.

"And how do you propose we change with you here?" Nico asked of Anthony, annoyed.

"Well you…and…Dr. Santino…" Anthony trailed off.

Nico held up his hand. "Are used to working together and can handle this. Now if you'd be so kind as to go on a coffee run…" Nico looked at the smaller man.

"Sure, sure" Anthony grumbled stepping back through the door.

Dani had her clothes in hand. _Now how do we do this?_

Nico looked over at Dani. _She is clearly trying to decide how to do this. _"Do you want me to give you some privacy?" Nico asked amused by the expression he got from Dani when he guessed correctly.

"No, no. I think the old "turn your backs and don't look" thing will suffice. I trust you." Dani busied herself finding the right items to put on first. _As much as I want to look…_

_Then I better get to see that later…_

When they were both dressed Nico offered Dani his arm and escorted her out of the building since she had paid on the way in.

They passed Anthony just as they were coming in. "I left the uniform folded on your desk. Thanks for everything." Nico told the man.

"You're welcome, just please don't make it a habit." Anthony shrugged.

"Understood." Nico nodded. "Have a nice rest of the day" Dani added still clinging to Nico's arm.

Nico walked Dani to the passenger side of his car.

"Do you understand that if we leave this parking lot in one vehicle than there is no going back for me? You will have my heart completely. I am trusting you like no one ever before. Please tell me you understand what that takes. I am a loaded package, take it or leave it." Nico finished.

"Do you understand that when you kissed me the first time that there was no going back for me? We've already crossed that line in my mind Nico. You already have my heart. If you can't handle it tell me now or forever hold you peace." Dani countered.

Nico looked at her in amazement. _How did I get so lucky?_

He leaned in and kissed her. It started out slow but soon turned into something passionate. He pressed her back against the passenger door of his car.

Dani realized what she was being given. _It brings me so much joy to know that he loves me just as much as I love him._

Nico broke the kiss and opened the door for her.

"Dr. Santino" Nico started but backtracked with a glare from Dani, "Danielle, where are you kids tonight?" Nico asked.

"Ray's house" Dani answered._ I really hope this is going where I think it's going…_

"Okay so may I take you to dinner then?" Nico asked almost hesitantly. _We have already declared our love but I've never even taken her out on a single date._

"I would love that" Dani sighed contentedly. _You know what I would love more…but that can wait. _


	9. Chapter 9

As Nico drove Dani reached over and held his hand. He didn't resist. _That's nice. But I did expect him to pull back. He doesn't seem to be one for public displays of affection._

Nico glanced down at their hands entwined on the seat_. That's quite a stretch for me. I'm not used to this, but I like it. I like it when she touches me. _

Nico looked over and smiled at Dani. She was looking out the window. _What's she thinking? Is she having regrets about us?_ Nico squeezed Dani's hand tighter in his hold at the thought.

Dani looked at Nico when he squeezed her hand and his face was tight. _What's wrong with him?_

"Nico, what's wrong?" Dani asked. _He looks distressed_.

"It's just, you've been quiet." He choked out. _Can she read me that easily?_

"Yes, I have. I've been thinking. That doesn't answer my question Nico." Dani eyed Nico letting him know she expected a better answer than that.

"Are you regretting getting in the car with me?" Nico whispered. _I can hear the despair in my own voice, something I never share with anyone. Something I never let anyone see. This woman…_

"Pull over, Nico." Dani replied. _We need to straighten this out right now. _

"Excuse me?" Nico asked surprised. _Oh my God she _is_ regretting this._

Nico pulled off the highway and onto a deserted road where he stopped a short way down. He turned off the car. "Dani just tell me now. Hit me with the feelings you're having, feelings of regret."

"Nico, I need you to understand something right now. Just because were not actively having a conversation does not mean I regret anything. Right now I am just thinking, yes thinking about us, but I in no way regret getting in this car with you." Dani squeezed Nico's hand. _What is wrong with him tonight?_

"But you usually cannot stop talking. It surprises me that you would be quiet for an entire car trip. You are only ever quiet when you are upset and brooding." Nico glanced down at their entwined hands_. This is so new for me. Such strong feelings and I don't know how much she reciprocates them._

"Why didn't you just ask?" Dani said surprised._ It's never stopped him before…_

"Because you hate it when I dig and I prefer to see when you let something slip." Nico smirked at her then let it quickly fall from his face.

"I need you to understand that my feelings for you are strong, Nico. We have a lot to discuss but this is neither the time or place. I was hoping we could do that in a more comfortable setting after dinner. But I want you to know that I am not mad at you and I am confident in my choice in getting in this car. Now unless you have something else weighing on your mind please turn the car back on and get us to some restaurant because I'm starving." Dani almost challenged Nico.

Nico glanced at her. _Well that's promising. At least she said her feelings are strong. This is something we have to discuss tonight._ "Okay, later it is then."

Dani nodded. "Sounds good. Food first, talking second." _As long as the talking is in there somewhere…_

Nico turned the car on and got back on the highway headed towards the city. Before long he pulled up to a little fancy Italian restaurant. "How did you know?" Dani asked, then paused. _I should have known._ She shook her head smiling.

"I understand that this is your favorite restaurant in the city." Nico replied also smiling.

"Of course you would know." Dani responded getting out of the car. "Well are you going to order for me too?"

_Now that would be interesting….hmm…maybe I should_. "Certainly." He answers handing the valet his keys.

_If he orders my favorite dish too I think I am going to have to make him teach me his methods. _Dani rolls her eyes. "I was kidding."

"I wasn't." Nico said offering his arm. _I'm glad to see she is back to her witty bantering but still we need to talk._

"I know." Dani took his arm and they walked into the restaurant together. _We need to talk but it can wait until after dinner. We're in for an interesting evening. _


	10. Chapter 10

Dani and Nico had an easy-going dinner. They discussed simple topics: movies that were in the theater that they were interested in seeing, Lindsey and Ray Jay, TK; anything but the personal or serious.

Nico did order dinner for Dani, to which he was surprised that she didn't object. _That has to be a first._

Dani's mind was elsewhere. _What now? Dinner was nice, but where are we headed from here? We haven't discussed the important topics, the elephant in the room: our relationship._

Nico could tell that Dani had been distracted through dinner. _What is going on in that head of hers?_

Dani and Nico enjoyed dessert, which again Nico ordered, again she didn't object._ This is totally uncharacteristically Dani, what is she thinking?_

Nico offered his arm to Dani as they left the restaurant. He escorted her to the passenger side before tipping the valet and getting in the driver's side. He offered her his hand upon putting the car in gear. She smiled and took it; neither speaking.

"So where to?" Dani asked.

"What were you thinking?" Nico replied._ I guess I should learn to not be completely evasive with her._

"Nuh uh, Mister" Dani waggled a finger at him "you first. What are your ideas as to where we should head?"

Nico pondered that for a minute. _She isn't going to let me get away with what she considers my normal antics. Well maybe it's time for a straight answer._

"Would you like to spend the night at my place? I know you're dying to see the secluded cave I live in." Nico quipped trying to play off his question as their normal bantering. _Well how's that for direct?_

_Did he just straight out ask me to sleep over at his place? What?! I must have imagined that. _

"Huh? I'm sorry I thought I heard…" Dani started to be cut off.

"Me ask you to spend the night with me?" Nico finished. _This was amusing…_

"Yeah…I…uh…okay." Dani stuttered out.

"Okay?" Nico was surprised it had been that easy to convince her to stay with him.

"Okay" Dani agreed squeezing his hand.

"Okay" Nico replied a little shell-shocked.

"But we have to talk Danielle" Nico looked over at her seriously.

"Yes, definitely." Dani agreed still surprised at where they were headed and what she had agreed to.

The car trip passed in silence, each in their own thoughts, hands linked.

_Oh. My. God. What have I agreed to? I love him but where we are going is dangerous ground. Things are so fresh. I don't want to lose him._

_I hope she knows I love her and don't just want to sleep with her. This is so new to me. I don't deserve her I need to make her understand just what I am and what she has gotten herself into. _


	11. Chapter 11

Nico pulled into his apartment complex. He released Dani's hand and walked around the car to open the door for her. He offered his hand and locking the door with the car remote led her to the elevator.

_I can't believe we're really doing this. I can't believe he is letting me into his home and his life. I never imagined we could have this._

Nico punched the button for the top floor and keyed in the code when requested. It appeared that this was a secure building. Neither had spoken since agreeing to talk later at the apartment.

When the doors opened they stepped out into a spacious open layout apartment. It had modern and classy appliances, furniture, the works. What struck Dani the most were the floor to ceiling windows.

"Wow, this is beautiful Nico." Dani smiled up at him, still holding his hand.

"There are other things of greater beauty" Nico replied looking down at her.

Dani dropped her head blushing. _No one has ever spoken to me this way._

Nico squeezed her hand and stepped away. "Would you like something to drink Dani? Glass of wine perhaps?" Nico asked already going through cabinets.

"Sure that would be great." Dani smiled and started walking towards the windows.

She placed her hand against the glass. _I never imagined his place to be so open, so inviting._

"Not what you expected?" Nico smirked at Dani from across the room.

"No, definitely not. It's so open with the windows. I figured you for a few windows, very little light kinda guy just because it's more secure." Dani answered.

"This is the one place I never have to hide" Nico whispered. _ I can hear the pain laced in my voice I wonder if she can._

Dani could hear the sorrow and emotion in Nico's voice and turned to face him this time. She could see he had paused what he was doing on the counter.

"Are you okay?" Dani asked, crossing the room and laying a hand on Nico's arm. He stiffened before relaxing under her touch, something Dani did not fail to notice.

"How are you doing Dani? Are you okay with this, with being here?" Nico deflected.

Dani wasn't having it. "Tell me what is bothering you Nico". She took the wine glasses he had poured out of his hands and he followed her to the couch.

_Well that's new. She is not going to let me get away with that anymore is she? Shit. I'm in trouble now._

"It's just…" Nico started but changed his course of action "I don't want to tell you. I can't tell you." He sat at the other end of the sofa. Dani set the glasses on the table in front of them.

"Can't tell me, or won't tell me, Nico. And you with all your semantics know the difference." Dani met Nico's eye contact without hesitation.

"Both" Nico replied breaking the connection and staring at something across the room.

Dani followed Nico's gaze. On the wall where he looked and then averted his gaze was a shadow box. Dani looked at Nico then got up and crossed the room.

Upon approaching the box she saw various awards and medals, clearly from his time in the military. But she only knew one of them. The distinctive Purple Heart was nestled among other citations that were clearly of merit.

Dani realized what Nico meant. _He thinks that when I really see him I will run, that he can't hide himself from me here. _

"You don't want me to see you clearly, that's it isn't it." Dani looked at Nico sitting next to him on the couch this time. He didn't meet her gaze.

"Dani, it's not that I don't want you to. It's that you won't. Like I said this is the one place I never have to hide. You are the only person who has ever been here. But I don't think you can understand what I've been through. Things I won't hide from you but just simply can't tell you. I will never lie to you but there is just some stuff I don't think you want to know. Can't know. Shouldn't know. If you knew the truth you would be running out that door and never looking back." Nico glanced at her and then away, trying to read her expression.

"But Nico, I want to see you clearly. I want to know everything about you and your life, what you can tell me that is. I want to understand you." Dani reached over and took Nico's hand. They didn't make eye contact, and although Nico tensed at the contact he relaxed again too.

"I don't think I want you to understand me. I said you know me, and that's true. You are only the second person to ever know me, really know me. But understand me, I've never had that, not even Marshall and I had that." Nico still gazed at the wall across the room.

"You want me to think that you're dangerous." Dani sighed; she knew it would come around to this topic eventually.

"I am Dani. More than you can grasp." Nico looked at Dani with flat black eyes. Dani didn't even blink.

"I know that you are Nico." Dani squeezed his hand.

_She doesn't get it._

"And yet, here you sit. In my home, holding my hand. Dani, I've killed people. I've killed people with that very hand you're holding. I don't think you can handle my past." Nico met Dani's eyes which had been trained on his face.

_He is trying to push me away before we get in too deep. He wants me to make the choice to leave him. He wants me to protect myself from him. Not going to happen._

_Why doesn't she get it? I want her to save herself. Do I love her, yes. But should she love me, no. It will destroy us both. And she is still holding my hand, what am going to have to do to have her get it?_

"We've been over this Nico. I know of your past. I may not know exactly what happened or what you had to do but I get it. You killed. You murdered. You think of yourself as a killer. As someone capable of killing at any second. You did plenty of things you're not proud of. You want to protect me from that, and I get it, but Nico I know all of those things. This is not news to me. Let's phrase this differently, I do understand you, I just want to understand all of you." Dani waited for Nico to respond.

Nico internally flinched. _Killer, murderer. She was right, that is what I think of myself. But why isn't she running away? She is so calm. I don't understand._

"How can you know this about me and sit here calmly holding my hand? How can you see me so clearly and not run the other direction Dani?" Nico asked turning to face her.

"Because I love you. You think your past defines you, but it is not who you are today. Is it a part of you? Yes. Are you still capable of that? Yes. But would you just go and do that? No. Nico, I don't doubt for a second that if it was necessary you would kill again" Dani paused as Nico actually flinched.

"But would you do it if it wasn't the last resort? No." Dani finished.

"And you believe this is your heart to be true?" Nico asked of Dani.

"Yes, without a doubt." Dani met Nico's gaze confidently.

"Love and trust are two different things Dani. I have never had both from the same person. Did I trust Marshall, yes, with my life. But I didn't love him, not even like a brother. He drove daggers into my back more times than I can count, but I knew he would have my back when it counted. Did I love Gabrielle, yes, but did I trust her, no. She and I used each other for what we wanted. We loved what we could take from each other, not in any way did I trust her. What you're offering me is the first relationship of any kind in which I would have both love and trust. I just don't know if I can do it Dani." Nico stared at the wall again.

"Why, Nico? Why don't you think we can have both?" Dani stared at Nico's turned face.

"Because I already trust you. If I love you, I mean really love you, I will have to let you all the way in. If I let you all the way in you will be past every single wall I put in place to protect myself. If I do that and you decide you can't handle it, our relationship, me. I would be done. I need you to decide." Nico looked back at Dani's face.

_He wants me to decide if I can handle it. I've already said I can. I love him for Godsake! I would never leave him._

"Nico I want in. I want you. I love you." Dani whispered.

"And you think you can handle in? You think you can handle me. Because right now we could salvage our working relationship, but if we do this we will never be able to go back. If we make the conscious choice, both of us, to love each other, then this is it for me. There will never be another and you will share my burden." Nico warned Dani.

"Nico I already share your burden because you trust me. I love you, all I'm asking is that you please love me back." Dani pleaded with Nico.

Dani could see the war that was going on inside Nico's head. _Oh just make the decision Nico. I know he has to think everything though but just do it already, stop trying to be the martyr._

"There is just one more thing I need to know, Dani. Are you afraid? Afraid of anything about this relationship, because if I decide right now that I love you then that is it. There is no turning back." Nico looked directly at Dani, daring her with his eyes to look away.

Dani didn't answer immediately, instead she thought about that. _Do I believe that some things with him will be really hard? Yes. Am I afraid? No. Is there anything at all that scares me? Hmmm…I don't think so. And then it dawned on Dani. There was one thing that scared her, scared the crap out of her really._

She looked at Nico and knew that her eyes betrayed her and one by one she saw his walls slam back in place.

"Your terrified; I can see it in your eyes. Just don't even try to deny it Dr. Santino. As good as you are you can't keep the truth from me. You fear me" Nico whispered.

_I can hear the pain laced in his voice, but that's not it. He is trying to distance himself with that Dr. Santino crap again. It actually gave him away this time. _

"No Nico" Dani whispered back.

"Don't try and spare my feelings Doctor. We are long past that. Just spit it out. You are afraid of me." Nico spat out and then crossed the room in the blink of an eye to call the elevator. "Let's go then. Let me take you home Doctor."

Dani didn't move, she simply glared at Nico. "Afraid yes. Terrified yes. Is there fear in my eyes, probably. But Nico it is not fear _of _you, but fear of losing you." Dani threw out.

"What?" Nico stood still as a statue, he had to comprehend what she just said. _Did she just say?_

"I'm terrified that you're going to decide I can't handle something or that I ask the wrong question and you're going to walk out that door. I don't fear anything in your past, anything you could possibly tell me. I don't fear you right now in the present. The ONLY thing I fear is the future, a future without you. I couldn't bear to lose you." Dani had tears rolling down her cheeks and Nico crossed the room to her side.

"Dani look at me." Nico whispered, tugging on her hands that were covering her face as she dropped them into her lap.

"You mean that?" Nico asked. _There might be hope._

"Yes" Dani gulped out._ And it is true. I can see the truth in her eyes. _

Nico sat back down on the couch and pulled her into his chest. "I'm sorry." He whispered into her ear.

Dani lifted her head surprised. _Did he just say?_

"You're right. You can handle it. You can handle me. I want you in my life Dani." Nico looked at her earnestly.

_I can see his walls coming down._

_I can feel my walls coming down. _

"I don't want to be_ in_ your life Nico. I don't want to be your friend anymore. I want to _be_ your life. I want you to love me." Dani looked at Nico. _I'm going to make him make the choice._

_I know she is giving me an ultimatum, and I don't even care. I want what she is offering._

"I love you" Nico answered Dani's unspoken question, and with that, all of his walls were gone. At least between them.

Dani began crying again, but tears of joy._ It was the first time he had said it. He loves me! _

Dani reached up and pulled Nico's head down for a kiss. Both put everything they had into that one act. When breathing became necessary they both pulled back only to have Dani lean her head on Nico's shoulder.

_I could never have imagined in all my years that I would have this. That I could have this._

_Finally! He finally said it. He loves me!_

They just sat there holding each other for the longest time. Each was just contemplating the gift they had been given.


End file.
